“When I lose ‘X’ amount of lbs, my life will be perfect!”
Do you know how many times a day I hear crazy talk like that?
Actually, you know what? Just save the guess.
Because I’m just going to come right out and say that I hear it A LOT.
And I get it!
I mean, when you first start tossing around the idea of ‘getting healthy’ or ‘back on track’, my guess is that you’re likely be looking at weight loss as the end goal.
You then end up jumping right back into the latest diet frenzy by mimicking what others are doing, just so that you can get the same results that they are.
However, here is the one thing that most people don’t even realize when they dive into another meal plan, workout regime, juice fast or follow yet another set of rules…
The more you diet, the less connected you’ll feel to food and your body.
“How on earth can I be LESS connected, when I’m more in-control and disciplined with my food/ body?”
Is what I bet you’re saying.
But here’s the thing…
…I know that this isn’t your first rodeo.
And I also know that you’ve likely made this attempt to have the ‘perfect body’ once, twice, or a million times before… and you’ve probably said, “I should’ve had this figured out by now!” 😒
Well, I’m going to throw back a straight up NO.
No- you shouldn’t have figured it out.
Well because it’s actually the DIET CULTURE that has done this to you, and made you feel this way.
The diet industry isn’t a BILLION dollar industry (yes I said billion with a B), for no reason.
They’ve purposely set you up to fail.
JUST so they can continue to make money off of you.
Is that serial dieting has sucked so much joy out of eating that we now use food in ways that we never intended.
And while we know that diets have failed us from time and time again, we keep doing them hoping, begging, praying that we will ‘figure it out’ and be free from this endless war we’ve been in with food and our bodies.
So where do we go from here?
How do we ever get out of this endless cycle of ‘on track’ vs. ‘off track’.
And will we ever make peace with food and our bodies?
The answer is HELL YES!
And in order to do that we first have to shine a mega bright light on all the dieting LIES that have kept us stuck in believing that dieting is the ‘be all end all’ solution. ✋🏼
But before the growth can happen, (like anything else) you’ll likely have to hit rock bottom.
Dieting rock bottom that is.
So how do you know if you’ve hit diet rock bottom?
I’m going to show you some signals to look out for- but first, I just want you to take a deep breath and remember that there IS another way out of this thing.
I freakin’ pinky promise.
I’m just going to start off by giving it to you straight.
(If you’ve been hanging with me for a while- you know that’s just how I do things around here.) 😉
I’ve gotttttta address the oh so familiar focus of ANY serial dieter.
We’re starting here because my guess is that you’re probably feeling like you’ve hit diet rock bottom, mainly because your metabolism has slowed.
That my girl, is unfortunately only the beginning of this not so fun ride.
Our bodies are so freakin’ smart.
Every single diet that we do, (whether that be a juice cleanse, food elimination, rigid meal plan, calorie counting, micro obsessing, tea concoction, or whaaatever else is ‘in’), will only end up teaching the body to adapt better to the next self-imposed starvation period.
A.K.A your body slows down every single time you start a new diet.
Our bodies aren’t meant to be controlled/manipulated in this way.
And the ancient function of our bodies goes allll the way back to when we were a hairier, version of ourselves.
Now we might not be living in rock caves or going out into the wild to hunt and gather our food…
BUT…the truth is, our metabolism still slows as the body so brilliantly utilizes each calorie as if it’s the last.
Which means that the more drastic the diet, the more the metabolism will push the body into a calorie pinching survival mode.
I remember when I was in the midst of trying to achieve my ‘dream body’…
I had a friend’s birthday party coming up, and a bunch of my friends and I were headed to the swankiest cabana pool bar in Toronto (tThink Las Vegas pool party meets Toronto Harbour).
With it being a pool party, I knew I was going to be prancing around in my bathing suit all day, so naturally, it was my mission to be the thinnest I had ever been to date.
JUST so I could impress my friends with my progress. (Like they freakin’ cared). 😂
You can imagine the amount of food obsession I had going on at that time.
I would literally spend hours creating meal plans, grocery shopping, meal prepping, weighing out my foods, setting timers to eat every 2-3 hours, and making adjustments where I needed to.
It was absolute torture.
When your entire world revolves around food that’s a sure way to know that you’ve hit diet rock bottom.
Food is literally all you can think about. From the minute you wake up, to the second you go to bed.
It’s all about what you’re eating, how much you’re eating, and waiting for your next allotted food time to come around.
What’s more is that this restrictive cycle of food obsession is likely what leads you to fall ‘off track’ in the first place.
Or you become ‘out of control’ by the time your weekend rolls around.
Which means that Sunday is your dedicated ‘cheat day’ where you allow yourself to binge on anything and everything before you ‘start again on Monday’.
Because you assume that you’ll never eat these foods again.
So you might as well indulge in all of the forbidden foods now.
Cue the XL pizzas, burgers, bags of chips, cookies, tubs of ice cream and donuts.🍦🍔🍕
Hell, why not throw in the kitchen sink while we’re at it!
And THAT is why revolving your whole entire world around food, (even if it’s been labeled ‘good for you’), can become such a big problem!
It’s because of restriction.
You assume that in order to get healthy and have the ‘perfect body‘ that you have to keep tracking your every move, and if you can’t stick to it… you’ve failed.
But here’s one key thing a lot of disconnected eaters are missing…
When you obsess about food, that only causes an increase in your overall food consumption.
AND you’re likely to eat an abundance of foods that you likely wouldn’t have eaten if you wouldn’t have restricted yourself in the first place.
Instead, imagine how differently this would look if you could eat whatever it is you want at any given moment?
But you won’t ever allow yourself to do that because you no longer trust food.
Truth be told…
When I first started to restrict myself from having certain foods and was creating extremely rigid meal plans that I ‘had’ to stick to, it all came down to me no longer trusting food.
Instead, of treating food for what it was, (FOOD, nothing more, nothing less), I was creating very distinct food labels and would put certain foods into either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ categories.
Ex. Kale = Good, Chocolate = Bad.
Was this helpful?
Not at all.
Did it make things worst?
You bet it did.
Now, I will say that I do completely get how this whole food labeling nonsense all started.
Every diet has taught you not to trust your body or the food you put in it.
But honestly… if you’ve found yourself in this very trap, you’re not to blame.
Now, I assume that you might be thinking,
“When I eat certain foods they just make me gain weight! How on earth can I trust myself?”
But here’s what you’re missing…
It’s the process of dieting that’s failed you, and it’s that very failure that continues to destroy your relationship with food.
If you spend all your time labeling food and focus solely on how it’s going to destroy your progress…how are you going to feel when you DO decide to eat that food again?
My guess is not so good.
Instead, remember that food is here to sustain us, nourish us, and sometimes can be eaten for pure pleasure.
After all, do you really think that a single chocolate bar is going to destroy your life?
It’s the thoughts we’ve created around the chocolate bar that makes the situation feel worst than it is.
I know, allowing yourself to eat chocolate seems crazy! But, here’s what most people aren’t telling you…
When it comes to healing your relationship with food, it’s not just about the food.
It’s about the mindset we’ve created around it.
And when you’ve been living in the dark with diets for long enough you might not even see that you’ve been constantly drowning in not so good feelings of guilt/ shame.
Do you remember how you felt the last time you ‘fell off track’, or couldn’t ‘stick to a diet?’…
I couldn’t tell you the exact date or what diet I was on at the time…but I could definitely tell you that I felt an unbearable amount of guilt, and shame.
When we start to hate our bodies in this way, we begin to feel as though we’re the problem, or we’re ‘broken’ because we can’t stick to the diet.
Cue, the ‘diet hangover’.
When you end a diet, it leads to mass amounts of guilt which triggers an overload of disconnected food binges.
For me, this consisted of mega self-loathing where I’d beat myself up for not having enough ‘willpower’, to stick to my mile long list of rules.
What’s more is that one minute I’d be tracking every bite, lick and taste in my ‘Lose it App’, and the next, I’d be hands deep in a bag of bold bbq Doritos…
…followed by mouthfuls of chocolate chips, oreo cookies, quest bars, or whatever else I could get my hands on. 😣
Because, ‘Screw it, I already failed so I might as well indulge!”, I’d proclaim.
….which only led to deeper feelings of guilt about what I’d eaten, and how I was unworthy of having the body I’d always dreamed of.
This could even go as far as me feeling like I didn’t deserve to eat because I didn’t have a ‘socially acceptable body’.
Have you also been a victim of this endless guilt, body shaming, and unworthiness self-criticism?
Holy freakin’ heartbreak.
Tell me you hear me when I say that failing a diet always feels 10x worse than being on the actual diet itself?!
When we’re not on a diet, we’re swimming in the guilt of how everything we’re doing is ‘wrong’ and how we ‘should’ be on a diet.
Whether you’re embarrassed to approach the cashier at the grocery store, or you’re uneasy about what your girlfriends will think if you order pizza at dinner instead of a salad…
Which brings me to our next diet rock bottom indicator…
Have you ever been at a restaurant and ordered a kale salad, or a smoothie, when in reality you wanted that plate of nachos and an ice cold cider?
But instead, you ordered the ‘clean food’ option to gain approval from your friends or family?
Or maybe you get so overwhelmed in social eating situations that you decide you’re just going to stay home and catch-up on an episode of ‘Suits’.
I get it, sister.
From my experience, I know how hard it is to stick to a rigid set of rules and go out to a party or dinner.
I was the Queen Hermit of just turning down social obligations altogether.
I spent all my days counting calories and my nights workin’ em off at the gym…just so I could see the scale drop an incy wincy bit lower.
But here’s the thing…
While food avoidance might seem like a good idea in the beginning, (you know- for the good of the diet) this can quickly escalate into a MUCH bigger problem.
Because it creates a whole lot of fear around remaining ‘in-control’ of your food habits.
And it’s that very control and rigidness that reinforces the whole act of ‘saving up’ calories, food allotments, or grams of fat for the party.
Which means you eat very little or starve yourself throughout the day.
Then you show up at the party feeling ravenously HANGRY, which quickly leads you to feel like your eating is suddenly VERY out of control.
And that? Is a binge session waiting to happen.
So where do we go from here?
Now that you know what it looks like to hit diet rock bottom, allow me to say that diets not only don’t work– but they are also the root cause of a countless list of problems.
When you’re confronted by the food police, or you find yourself in a dieting offer you can refuse…
Please consider this:
Diets are a bandaid solution.
And even though you have the best intentions of losing weight, or improving your health…the truth is they are only causing you more harm than good.
So, now that you know that dieting isn’t the be all, end all, I’m gonna assume that you’re pretty damn curious to figure out what your next step is?
I know you’re so ready to ditch this never ending pattern for good, and make peace with food and your body once and for all!
Am I right?
I figured as much.
Which is why I’m ecstatic to share that hitting diet rock bottom can actually be a good thing– as it allows you to completely rebuild from the ground up.
You go, girl!
Let’s determine where you’re at on this road to ditchin’ diets!
You can do that by taking this quick quiz to uncover what stage of healing you’re in, so you can figure out where to go from there.
When you complete the quiz- your results will be emailed over to you.
*NOTE: This quiz is not intended to diagnose or treat any health condition, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice.